Sunday, November 29, 2015

Hang a Shining Star

I made a card this weekend.  I don't know how I feel about it.  Sitting at my crafting area, which has been closed & packed up for months now, felt vaguely familiar but so very different.  As I sat at my desk uninterrupted, I grieved over the fact that Ellie wasn't here to pull me away from it when she needed me.  This isn't how it's supposed to be.

I didn't know where to start.  I perused the list of challenge sites on my blog, and checked out the blogs of some of my favorite stamp companies.  Finally I pulled out some products to use, prompted by a challenge to use a specific stamp set from WPlus9.  I'm thankful that it is a stamp set that makes me think of my Ellie...how I would have loved to watch her hang ornaments upon our Christmas tree each year. 

And this is what came of it.
Eh.  It's okay.  Not a masterpiece by any means, but...a start.  Products used?  Well, I have no desire to create a link list right now, so if you want to know something specific...ask in the comments & I will reply. :)

I know I probably sound a tad apathetic about this.  In a way...that is the truth.  I've become indifferent to a lot of things that once meant more to me.  Some of that indifference is good, because those things that I thought meant something were really of little to no value.  I know that isn't the case with creating.  I know there is value in it.  I don't want to be indifferent to it.  So I am trying to find a way to make it feel safe...like I am not moving on or past my sweet baby girl.  I am trying to make it instead, synonymous with Ellie.  That I think of her while I create.

Things about this card that make me think of Ellie?  Well...the cute little girl hanging the stars for one.  And the gold.  Her nursery was going to be blush pink, gold & white/cream.  With hints of mint.  It would have been a really pretty nursery.  Soft & sweet....just like her.

Challenge info:

11 comments:

  1. This is so sweet and so pretty in white with the touches of gold - pure and precious come to mind, and I can see how you were inspired by your love for your baby girl...I'm glad you felt able to create.

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  2. Reading this post took me back to exactly how I felt when I created my first card after my Mum. I remember all these feelings, all those difficulties in finding the mechanics and desire to create. I remember feeling lacklustre at the results, and frustrated at my slowness. I wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you and that you're very brave, and that I'm proud of you for taking that first step back into creating. It won't feel the way it did before, that would be impossible. But perhaps, it might take you on a new journey that you might not expect. Huge hugs to you. Your card is beautiful by the way. xoxo

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  3. This is sweet and beautiful. I love the mix of textures, it's lovely.

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  4. So Pretty Lea! Love this so much :)

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  5. I love this beautiful card. To me, it is clear that Ellie's miraculous life has manifested her beauty in your creativity. She continues to live in your heart and work. Please continue to create and thank you for sharing with us today.

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  6. Beautiful card Lea!
    Hugs. Joanna

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  7. This is lovely. The layers, the textures, the image, the gold-just beautiful.

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  8. Oh, Lea! This is beautiful. I know you don't feel like it is a masterpiece, but this card represents something so great and so hard. You did it! You've created your first card. I've been following your blog...reading, crying, and being inspired by your posts of your sweet Ellie. I've never quite found words sufficient to comment, but I have offered many prayers on your behalf. I figure He knows what you need and what will comfort and help most. I'll pray again tonight. :)

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  9. this card is beautiful. thank you for sharing.

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  10. Such a preciously heartfelt card. There's such a raw beauty in the heart you put into this card, and it shines through. I, too, have been following your posts with tears in my eyes, at a loss for words. Seeing this card pop up in the feed was such a lovely surprise.

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Lea