Sunday, July 5, 2015
We had our appointment with the high risk OB last week. He gave Arabella Grace less than a 10% chance of survival after delivery. If I'm honest, everything about how he delivered the results pointed more towards a 0% chance in his mind...but of course stated that he doesn't deal in absolutes.
What he confirmed from the ultrasound is that there is actually no fluid around her, which presents multiple problems for her lungs. Mostly...there is just no way for them to develop. He showed us where there are spots on her kidneys...what he believes to be cysts. And he confirmed the first diagnosis from last month...thickened heart walls & fluid around the right side of the heart. She is also about 3 weeks behind in size.
In all my life, I've never been so heart broken. I have prayed & longed for this little life for such a long time...the fact that she could be taken from me makes it hard to breathe.
With that being said, I'm not giving up on her. I know medically the statistics are grim. But I believe in an all powerful God of healing & hope, who truly has the final decision. I have to trust in Him, and His plan. Without that, this would be even more unbearable than it already is. There is a song that says "I will praise you in this storm", and that is where I am at. Sometimes my prayers only come in the form of tears, but my God knows my heart.
Please keep us in your prayers. This is a really scary & hard time for all of us...especially me.